Air ports in holding pattern

I get a dull feeling waiting around at the airport. Kind of suppressed histeria. Anecdotes? Where do I start? There was the one I've told a lot of times (heavily imbellished) about the security guard at Melbourne airport. She said "you look nervous" as she scanned my bag for drugs. I had left my bag with the consierge at the hotel and he was a bit dodgy. There could have been anything in there. The good story was running into James O'loglin on the way home from Melbourne, one time. He thought I was going to button hole him and took a pair of earphones, just in case. I got a seat miles away from him on the plane. The lady I sat next to had never heard of him.